Expectations

One may miss the mark by aiming too high as too low.

~~Thomas Fuller

Have you ever gone to the movies, been really, really excited from all the hype and reviews only to walk away utterly disappointed?  That’s sort of how the first week of my new plan went.  Not quite up to the expectations that I thought. Don’t get me wrong, I am still very excited and committed. I just expected a different outcome.  Especially considering how hard I worked this week!  It was a tough week with lots of new adjustments. 

I returned to the gym!  YAY me!  I gave it my all! I pushed through the burn, the gasping for breath, the feeling that my heart would explode and the after workout rubber legs!  I even managed to conquer the obstacles that stood in my way of getting to the gym—the heat, the locked door as my pass key would not work, the fear of pain returning to my back.  None of that stopped me!  I logged 300 minutes of strenuous activity my first week back.

My nutrition was right on.  Well, maybe not right on, was told I need to increase my calorie intake a bit, up the protein and eat MORE veggies (ugh). But it was good in that I ate only healthy items.  I forged my way past what the family chose to eat.  I managed to consume breakfast and lunch 5 out of the 7 days. I got 80 oz of water in everyday!  And most importantly didn't feel deprived or have the urge to splurge.

I kept a positive attitude ALL week. Diverted the negative talk and complaining.  I did well all week!

I was excitedly anxious as I went to see the doctor today for my first follow up visit since we made our health plan.  I climbed on that scale, my smile faded and my heart sunk like a ton of bricks!  With shoulders slumped I trudged down the hallway no longer eager to meet with my doctor. The thoughts that flew through my head made me dizzy!  I was frustrated and dishearten.  I just wanted to turn around and run away.  He was going to be upset with me.  He told me firmly that he would help me if I was willing to put forth the effort.  I did! I did!  But he’s not going to believe me and I'm going to be on my own again.

He walked in the room with his nose buried in my chart, jumped on the computer and compared notes, he looked at my journal.  He hemmed and hawed as I sat there defeated.  Then slowly he looked up and a grin covered his face and his eyes sparkled with approval.  Said I did great, 2.5 pounds gone.  I looked at him still puzzle, 2.5 pounds humph, I was expecting like 5 pounds at least after all I worked so hard! 

We talked about how my week went and what I was doing well, where I needed to make some improvements and about my frustration and disappointment.  I soon grew to understand that while expectations can motivate us they can also defeat us.  So what I need to do, what I will do, is follow the plan we developed with the only expectation being by doing so I will achieve my goal.

A New Partnership

It is not only one person's work, it's really a 

partnership and collaboration...

--Christo

Ugh! Went missing again didn’t I?  Boy, can life get busy, or at the very least perceived as busy!  The truth is I haven’t been so busy that I couldn’t write, or exercise or do a lot of things I should be doing.  I just slipped back into that sloth mode again, finding comfort in wasted time on the computer, napping and indulging in ice cream.  Basically I’ve been taking the easy way out.  Ok and not facing the harsh reality in that damn mirror!!!!  I’ve been quite good at being elusive to that Lady in the Mirror these past 6 weeks or so.  She stares out at me and I turn my back or scamper away.  I am not ready for another tongue lashing from her! 

However, she has out smarted me once again, that Lady in the Mirror!  She snuck into the doctor’s office with me today!!!!  She brought the interrogation speech with her and tattled on me! Humph…  Except this time I’m not upset, not in the least.  I have a new doctor who is wonderful and providing me with his ACTIVE support and we put together a really great plan today that will get me where I need to be sooner than later!

It’s not that I don’t have support at home, because my family has been wonderful.  But the thing is with family and friends, they want you to be happy.  So when you’re in the motivate mode they cheer, when you start to slip they give a little push, and when you slip some more they back off because they don’t want you to feel bad (or yell at them!)  But my doctor, while he wants me to be happy, he first and foremost wants me to be healthy!  And this man is so much more tactful than that Lady in the Mirror! We all know it’s so much easier to be ‘nice’ to someone you’re not close too.  There will be no pulling the wool over his eyes, as blood tests and scales don’t lie. He told me that if I am willing to put in the work then he is more than willing to give me the time, the tools and direction to keep me on our plan. 

So I am going to take another stab at making some much needed lifestyle changes...  I know. I know, I’ve said it before how many times!?  But the domino effect of poor choices, denial and self pity are taking a toll on my body.  I will no longer use my body screaming in pain at the simplest tasks, my lungs burning from lack of oxygen, the weather (oh my has it been HOT!), icky vegetables, time, emotions or the hundreds of other, sometimes quite creative excuses not to get healthy!  I am returning to the gym, I’m going back to what was successful for me before as far as food choices and exercise and I AM NOT giving in to what everyone else thinks is healthy for me.  I have a plan!!!!  A real, solid, do-able plan with a safety net should I falter.

I am excited to start this endeavor and finally reach my health and fitness goals....  And I am oh so happy to have an objective partner to keep me honest and on track!