Do You Think You're Sexy?

The other day I was chatting with a friend that I met on line (great gal!). Anyway she too has a weight issue. She said that she may be fat, but she’s hot and feels that’s all that matters. She went on further to say, that despite her rolls, she still feels sexy and that one of her goals for weight loss was to fit in cuter clothes because cuter clothes are smaller. Then she asked if I was sexy and I told her no, that I was just fat and fugly. She asked that I send her a picture of me, so I sent a head shot (not ready to be showing the rest!) And she wanted to know why I didn’t think I was sexy. I came up with all sorts of reasons—ummm, cuz I’m fat, I have raccoon eyes, I have wings…. Oh, I could go on. But than she said, while she would like to be thinner, it didn’t much matter, because thinner or fatter, she’s still sexy inside and out. Wow! To be that comfortable with one self!

She made me start thinking, start really facing the bitter truth about what makes me me.  Now, I know that I said this in an earlier post—that I know that my physical image does not make me who I am; but when the world at large looks at me, they define me first and foremost as fat, obese, big, plump, hefty, large and just plain old gross….But I guess in reality I define myself that way too, even though I know better. I think it's because I feel that way.  I also know that on days when I feel good about life in general I tend to stand straighter, smile more, push my boobs out, walk more with more confidence… Could this be the inner sexiness of me sneaking out!

All of this lead me to having a mirror-fest with the Lady in the Mirror that taunts me. I stared really hard, she stared back. But I did take a hard look—made her squirm!. She has nice eyes, though dark, but makeup fixes that. Nice hair, cute nose, symmetric ears. Little lower now—ummm… those wings have a bit of shape to them—maybe not hopeless. The breasts, wow still a bit of perk there. Whoa, wait a minute! The waist and the hips actually have some girlish shape—haven’t seen that in a long while. Hey, I could be a renaissance woman! Back in the day they were the hotties!

Know what I did next!? Brushed my hair, put on a little make up, pulled on a tank top and came out of that bathroom feeling like a sexy diva! I did some dishes standing tall, smiling, bit flirty with the hubby. I finished up, then walked confidently into the living room (past my honey), curled up in the corner of my beloved sofa, still sitting tall and struttin’ my stuff—yep, I’m sexy. Next thing I know my dear husband comes in the room and says, “You look nice today.” OMG I am a sexy goddess!

When I got up this morning, I was a bit grumpy (I am NOT a morning person), but…I took a deep breath and low and behold I was sexy! So thank you my friend for helping me realize that even as a fluffy gal I AM STILL SEXY!  And in the next few months—watch out, cuz it’s gonna be move on over Bo Derrick, Rachel Welch and Emmanuelle Chriqui!!!